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Review:
colonic hydrotherapy |
By
Ross Chainey, Health Editor
Last updated March 8
2006
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 Some people swear by
colonic irrigation as an effective way to cleanse the
body and protect against disease, while for others the
indignity doesn't bear thinking about. Ross Chainey was
sceptical, but after visiting Aqualibria he left a
convert and returned to the office with a spring in his
step.
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 It’s a delicate issue but let’s
not be delicate about it – colonic irrigation is the cleansing
of the colon by means of inserting a hosepipe up your bum and
blasting lukewarm water up your rectum. At least, that’s my
scientific definition.
The treatment is supposed to aid
the elimination of waste matter from the colon, whether to
assist detox or protect against diseases such as bowel cancer.
To me, however, while not doubting its efficacy, it seemed
like a rather extreme way of keeping my insides ship-shape.
Not least because of the indignity of having some Nurse
Ratched character ram said pipe up my back passage.
The truth however, as with most things, was nowhere
near as upsetting. When I tried it out for myself the
experience was, in fact, rather splendid – the best thing I’ve
ever had done to me. And it was in no way humiliating. How the
amazing turn of events, I hear you ask. Well I’m coming to
that, and to how, all hubris aside, this treatment altered my
perspective on the way I treat my body. I thought I was
ultra-healthy, a fitness and wellbeing fanatic, but I was
wrong. And to think, it all started out as a joke…
As a
new recruit at MSN UK, I swaggeringly declared that what the
health channel needed was a database of innovative and
up-to-the-minute treatment reviews. Little did I know that I
was setting myself up for a big, big fall. I was thinking
facials and tropical spa breaks… they were thinking
embarrassing examinations and strategically placed leeches.
“Great idea”, said my boss, rubbing his hands together
and practically twiddling his evil moustache, “you can go for
a colonic. That would be hilarious.”
“Er, that wasn’t
exactly what I had in mind”, I retorted.
“Don’t worry,
you’ll be fine”. This from a man who would have me mud-wrestle
a hormonally charged gorilla if he thought it would raise a
few clicks.
But never mind, I’m willing to take one
for the team. And, I have to admit, I was a bit curious. Don’t
knock it until you’ve tried it, I always say, and all the
people I know who’ve had one swear by it, so there must be
something to it.
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 It was with this in mind that I
made my way to Aqualibria, a smart looking, not at all
clinical clinic on Harley Street in central London where I was
greeted by Company Director Velile Ndebele.
Wiser
than Yoda and smarter than a brain pie, Vel sat me down and
eloquently explained what the treatment would entail. It is at
this point important to say that it wasn’t colonic irrigation
I was waiting to try out, but colonic hydrotherapy, and
there’s a big difference. An American system (natch), colonic
hydrotherapy has a similar aim as colonic irrigation – aiding
the elimination of toxins from the body by flushing them out
from the bowels – but uses a much gentler technique to achieve
it.
Vel demonstrated, with the use of models, that
with colonic irrigation the water is pumped into the colon via
a wide-rimmed tube and the waste extracted the same way. With
hydrotherapy on the other hand, the water enters the body via
a much smaller tube (about the girth of a biro) and, once the
bowel is ready to expel, is released normally. And,
critically, you get to insert the tube yourself - so no Nurse
Ratched.
Vel’s life changed when she
discovered similar treatments whilst travelling, and during my
one hour consultation that precedes any first treatment, she
also explained the health benefits of colonic hydrotherapy and
the importance of detoxifying the body. Vel also probed me
(hey, calm down) on my lifestyle and diet, followed by a quick
biology lesson on the kinds of nasty diseases that are the
result of not keeping your colon clean.
After
uncrossing my legs (that hernia looked particularly
unappealing), it was my moment of truth; time to try out the
treatment for myself. Vel led me to the opposite room and
showed me how to ready myself for the treatment, before
leaving me to undress and prepare. The process is rather
ingenious really; after changing into a gown, you simply climb
into what is essentially a large plastic arm chair, with a gap
between the legs, from where it’s easy to insert the tube (you
don’t need me to go into any more detail here, I’m
sure).
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 Once in position, you can
recline and relax – yes, relax – and cover yourself, dignity
intact. When I reached this point Vel returned to get things
underway. To the left of the chair is a series of pipes,
underneath which runs a transparent tube so you can view the
toxicity literally drain out of you. At the turn of a knob
(hey, I said stop it) the water started to move and I felt
myself fill up with water. Initially it’s a disconcerting
feeling, and Vel sensed my confusion. “Ross”, she said
tenderly, “just let go”.
And it was good. I lay there
for an hour as the water worked its way further up my colon,
gradually wearing away at waste and expelling it from my body.
Without going into too much gory detail, the amount of, er,
stuff, that comes out is incredible, and this was only my
first treatment. And, surprisingly, the treatment feels
therapeutic and as Vel massaged my stomach in search of lumps
and blockages, I could have quite easily nodded off.
It takes more than one treatment to properly detox and
clean out the colon – six, in fact – but I would only be
returning for one more. As I’m training for a marathon, the
full detox isn’t recommended, as the latter stages induce
headaches and flu like symptoms. Still, I felt unbelievable
afterwards, and bounced back to the office all joie de
vivre and ranting and raving to my colleagues about the
treatment. And when I returned the next day for my final
session I had undressed and was changing into my robe before
Vel could even say “hello”.
The results of the second
treatment were even more impressive as the water reached even
further up my colon. “The darker the older”, Vel said, and
judging by its murky hue, this stuff had been clinging on to
my colon since the Battle of Hastings. I began to regret the
fact that I wouldn’t be back for more, especially when Vel
told me that at treatment four the waste expelled from the
body can be black. I’d have brought my camera along for
that.
Red meat in particular has a habit of hanging
round the gut, sometimes rotting inside us for years, and if
that doesn’t make you want to try out colonic hydrotherapy and
become a vegan, then I don’t know what will. Perhaps the fact
that some of us can lose five kilograms during a course of
colonics. I’ve been training since December and, due to the
build up of muscle, hadn’t shed a pound until, following my
two treatments, I was instantly four pounds lighter.
Aqualibria also provide each client with a bespoke
lifestyle plan based on questionnaires completed at the
outset, mainly focussed around drinking fruit or vegetable
juices to aid the detoxifying process. I left with one of
these, determined to treat my body with the respect it
deserves. And failing that, I could always re-visit Vel. In
fact, I will be, after the marathon for the full detox so I’ll
let you know how that goes. I can’t wait, but until then, I’ll
just have to cope with the excitement at the prospect of
seeing that black stuff.
A one hour colonic
hydrotherapy session at Aqualibria costs £95, and the one hour
consultation £35.
Contact details:
Aqualibria
1
Harley Street
London
W1G 9QD
Telephone: 0800 612
9481
website: http://www.aqualibria.com/
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